When I wake up in the morning and hear my alarm ringing during NanoWrimo, the first thought in my head is usually, “Why am I doing this?” And if I don’t have the answer to that question, then I am going to go right back to sleep.
Without my why, those top ten goals are not going to get accomplished during NanoWrimo. I won’t hit those 50,000 words. And I will never become a published author. Instead, I’ll pull the covers over my head and stay in bed.
Your why needs to be big. Bigger than your 50,000 word count goal in November. Your why needs to make you tremble with excitement and scare you a bit. It needs to be the one thing that is feeding those top ten goals of yours.
The question is this: why are you writing?
For Your Past Self
I started getting into writing when I was in third or fourth grade. I loved to read stories and wanted to write my own. I remember writing about princesses and dragons and reading those stories aloud by myself. I’ve always enjoyed writing––it’s a calling to me.
But that calling has been tested. A lot. I mentioned in an earlier post that I originally went to college for music education. Well, the truth is this: in high school, I had been torn between getting a music education degree or an English degree. When I talked with my parents about it, they asked the question, “Well, what are you going to do with an English degree?”
I had an answer, but my parents didn’t think it was practical: I was going to write. That’s what I was going to do with my English degree.
“You can write without an English degree,” they reasoned with me. “You can teach during the day and then write in the evening.”
What they said isn’t wrong. If you’re reading this and didn’t graduate with an English degree, you can still write. I mean, honestly, you don’t need an English degree to write. Anyone can write.
But at the time, I remember feeling like my dream was forever meant to be a side hustle. Like it wasn’t important enough to throw money behind it or give it more time than an hour or two in evenings. Like my dream didn’t matter.
I wish I had been more determined at the time to fight for an English degree. I eventually wound up graduating with an English degree, but so much less time and money would have been wasted if I had just gone with my original gut feeling.
But all of that taught me a valuable lesson: if you do not fight for your dreams, then who will? Who is going to stick up for your writing? Who is going to say, “Hey. That story you’ve been working on for years? Keep at it.”? Who is going to be in your corner every second of every day telling you that you can do this?
You are.
One of my reasons why I write is because I don’t want to let my younger self down. I don’t want to let her dreams die. I want to keep that writing dream alive and breathe life into it over and over again.
Are you writing for your past self? Your younger self that dared to dream? I recommend that you do. Don’t let your past self down.
For Your Present Self
I’m going to be honest with you: I do not like where I am in life right now. There are a couple of things about my life that I’m unhappy with.
First of all: I’m not waking up as early as I’d like to. I feel like I’m wasting time by sleeping in. Last week, I made it a goal to wake up every day around 7 AM. This week I’m aiming for 6 AM every day. The reason I’m doing this is because I am unhappy and want to change something in my life.
That change is being able to write more. Writing brings me joy. If you’re reading this blog post, then it means on some level, writing brings you joy as well. Aren’t you sick of not honoring that joy? Aren’t you sick of not carving out time of your day to express yourself freely and creatively? I know I am.
So dedicate your why to your present self, too. If you want to change and if you’re ready to become the writer you were always meant to be, focus on the joy that writing brings you. And bring that joy into your life every single day.
For Your Future Self
I met a woman the other day who is 72-years-old. It was at a fall festival in the Charlotte area where there was a Halloween costume competition and a ton of stands for local small businesses. If you’ve never done one before, I highly recommend. I was just standing in line at a food truck, waiting for my food, and this woman and I got to talking. I discovered a few things. One: she had ordered the bratwurst. Two: we were both originally from New Jersey. And three: her life wasn’t what she wanted it to be.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This 72-year-old woman didn’t have her dream life. After 72 years, wouldn’t you think she has it together? But no. Her family life? In shambles. Her life’s work? Forget about it.
Imagine being that age and looking back at your life with regret. So much regret that you break down crying in a stranger’s arms not once, but three times at a fall festival.
I spent a good while just listening to her and talking with her. And as we talked, I said some things to her that I’m going to repeat to you: You are worth fighting for. No one else is going to stand up for yourself. You have done enough for other people. Stop asking for permission to do what makes you happy. Do not wait for life to begin––it’s already begun. Your time is precious and shouldn’t be wasted. Other people do not control your life––you do.
Ask yourself: where do you want to be in a year? Two years? Five? How do you want life to look in fifteen years? What do you want your life to be at 72-years-old?
The fear of looking back on my life when I’m that age and thinking, “What did I do with my life?” is absolutely terrifying to me. I do not want to be in my golden years having not accomplished my dreams. And also: not having any dreams at that age, either. I’m a dreamer. A big dreamer. And those dreams are what get me out of bed in the morning when all I want to do is hit that snooze button and go back to sleep.
Visualize your life and how you want it. If you want to be a writer like I do, then it’s time to start living like it. I really hope what I said to that woman resonated with her and that she takes my advice. And I hope that you take my advice and start living for yourself. Your past, present and future self will thank you for it.
Do what makes you happy. Figure out what your why is and begin writing. Let me know down in the comments section below if this was helpful. I love to hear from you guys.
Elizabeth Yuen 